To really know and understand, first hand, that people are well intentioned beneath their misery and fear teaches me about the greatness of human dynamics and enables me to be hopeful. We could stare with horror at all the “well intended” souls who use drugs, alcohol, arguments, abuse, murder & war to fill their desires. But we could also know that we are staring into the muddled and explosive face of unhappiness.
We can do our very best to try to prevent such activities, but we can also look at those around us, no matter how problematic and different they are from us, let’s start to look at the similarities, letting go of our prejudices and judgments. At the core, we all want happiness for ourselves, our children and others we love. Some people may use the terms (peace contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction.) But it all amounts to that one word, happy.
As I have grown to love people instead of hating, judging, jealousing, resenting, bittering, as best I can, because that’s what I was do-ing. My friends, acquaintances, children and strangers alike, I have developed great respect for their intentions. I have found that underneath the sometimes, bizarre behavior, there has been unhappiness.
If I’m loving and patient I can ask gently, probe a little, to help the other person help themselves by their own exploration in turn each exploration gives the other an opportunity to uncover and discard if they choose, their beliefs fueling their unhappiness and discomfort.
The point of change usually happens in an instant, as it does for many addicts and alcoholics when they have reached their bottom and have a ‘spiritual experience’ the sudden realization to bring about, a significant change in their lives.
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