Not long ago I heard someone say (he’s a therapist) that being with his wife was like being alone………kinda strange you may think? Once the guy had realized what he had said, he began to qualify his comment to appease his friends’ glares.
This is what he said, “what I wear, or how my hair is combed, what I choose to do, whether I burp loudly or quietly, whether I am reclusive or extroverted, quiet or energetic are not issues when I am alone. I am and can be exactly who I am without judgments. When I am in the presence of this lady I share my life with, I feel the same delicious freedom that I feel when I am alone. Her love and acceptance of me and mine of her provide both of us with an open and nurturing environment which not only supports but champions personal authenticity.”
Some claim that they pay a high price for their authenticity. Indeed at times the immediate responses may not appear supportive. However in this user-friendly universe, when our authenticity comes from happiness and love, the gain of lessons from such honest sharing and self affirmation ultimately benefit both ourselves and those we meet. In addition, we tend to attract those who appreciate and want the same openness and authenticity.
When we start to reinvent ourselves to become the authentic “me” there can be many adverse effects. My friends might not like the new “me” because they might not have control over the new “me” any more, or they might not like me disagreeing with their cause, they don’t understand that I don’t show anger to a situation. Why do I have to be angry to bring about change? If I allowed that to happen I would not be my authentic self. I don’t want to be controlled by anyone as I don’t want to control the other. I can fight for causes, I can bring peace, but peace in me brings peace in others, freedom of self brings freedom to others.
Authenticity is a choice (freedom to be me) over self suppression. I have realized on many occasions that I prefer to be alone than to wear a mask that no longer fits. I want to be able to express myself freely and completely with those who choose to be with me. Sure people may walk away, I guess to those still wanting their unhappiness and anger reinforced, I no longer appear attractive. New friendships are created on acceptance, respect & love and in turn they are more honest, nurturing & fulfilling & I can begin to put more trust into my journey called life.
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