Shortcuts to Happiness. Part xvii

Growing up, my biggest fear was not just of other people but of myself, I became more and more afraid of what I saw was developing in me (character defects) and afraid of what others would see. Especially my Mother who thought I was perfect. I felt the risk that I associated with authenticity to be quite threatening but in reality it is quite illusory. The more we nurture ourselves and remove our masks we can allow our uncensored expression, allowing the rhythms within blend with those surrounding us. We create inner-outer harmony. It’s a little like positive attraction, if we think positively we attract the positive.

In my experience, once personal authenticity has been discovered, I feel we can abandon the masks and masquerades that are not truly ours so that we can embrace and nurture our most inner essence. We give up only the laborious task of playing the games. We have nothing to hide from anyone, especially ourselves. In effect, we simplify our lives. One face greets every situation without embarrassment or regret, we know who we are.

Before my own recovery of my authentic self, I would rehearse the ‘right’ response to the imagined or real situation. Now I can trust myself in most situations (progress not perfection) to trust myself by allowing the response I feel in any given moment. Some people mistakenly think that this gives them a license to kill” to be rude and attacking but what materializes suggests quite the opposite. Unhappy commentaries are not signs of authenticity they are signs of unhappiness. My experience teaches me that increased openness and honesty enhance a sense of personal ease and inner harmony bringing growing comfort (happiness) instead of dis-ease, which in turn brings increased respect and love for those around us.

This doorway to happiness is opened easily. We can begin by sharing with a friend, son, daughter, parent, spouse some fact about ourselves we might have kept secret or at least, shared rarely or only partially with anyone else. The very next time we try to keep the ‘secret’ in a conversation we can override that impulse and allow our thoughts and feelings to be expressed. As we begin now to share more freely our concerns, we may also begin now to smile more freely at a child or some interaction on the bus or hold out our hand more easily to a stranger. These acts too can be wondrous expressions of personal authenticity.
Once I could accept myself for who I am and I know what my faults are it’s easier to accept the faults of others.

Next week: Letting go of judgments……… and then we’re really on the happiness path.